So 2017 was good in some ways and really not in others.
I didn’t really commit to anything (racing, training, having a social life, my team), but after the shit show that was my 2016 season, I also kind of needed that. 2017 was also my first season while on Prozac, which I think contributed to my apathy towards bikes/bike racing/being social in general. It’s been harder to get really excited about things I know I love, but then I also don’t obsess over them and try to control everything to the point of anxiety attacks anymore. It’s a delicate balance, I suppose.
So, that being said, I’m back & ready for next season. I’ve gained back all the weight I lost from having an undiagnosed anxiety disorder (which is now totally manageable thanks to medication, therapy, and an amazing support system btw), my team is more solid than ever, I’ve narrowed down my bike stable to 3 rigs I absolutely love (Karate Monkey, Nature Boy 853, and Cosmic Stallion), and my brain is craving structure/goals (in a healthy way, though).
I’m putting my 2018 plans here as part of setting some concrete goals for myself. This season is going to be about riding in the dirt/mud/gravel, probably getting lost, riding big (for me) miles, and learning how to deal with being uncomfortable. Join me on a training ride or for a race if that sounds like something you’ll possibly lovehate in the moment, but definitely look back on fondly afterwards.